Let's chat
© 2025 CX Lavender
PoliciesWin hearts, not minds
How brands can trade sales talk for love languages to create emotionally loyal customers that are in for the long haul.
This week, we see what it takes to earn a customer’s love and loyalty.
Hint: it’s a lot like dating.
Angelica Martin
Business Management
Strategy
4 minute read
Having a customer who is transactionally loyal to your business is like casual dating. You know where they work and that they have a dog, but you haven’t really spoken about the deep stuff, like what drives them or what brings them joy. You worry about what would happen if someone else were to offer them more than you could. Would they stay loyal to you?
According to research, probably not. Transactional loyalty is dependent on your brand offering the best deals and/or rewards in the market. If this is no longer the case, your transactionally loyal customers are hopping straight back onto Tinder (or in this case, Google) in search of the next best offer.1
According to research, probably not. Transactional loyalty is dependent on your brand offering the best deals and/or rewards in the market. If this is no longer the case, your transactionally loyal customers are hopping straight back onto Tinder (or in this case, Google) in search of the next best offer.1
In short
- Emotionally loyal customers want to help your brand succeed.
- Ways to nurture emotional loyalty include making the most of every interaction and owning up to mistakes.
- There’s a lot big brands can learn from how small businesses approach customer relationships.
Why is emotional loyalty so important?
Whether it’s choosing a toothpaste brand or health insurer, consumers are met with an overwhelming amount of choice, which often looks like a bunch of brands battling it out to see who can give the most for the least. Building solid relationships with your customers lets you escape that zero-sum game.
And there’s more: emotionally loyal customers give you more than just a regular sale. Here are a few examples of how it pays to earn their love.
- They’re your biggest cheerleaders. Just like the feeling of being in love, your emotionally loyal customers can’t wait to tell their friends, family and colleagues all about you. When a consumer feels connected to your brand, there is an 86% chance that they will recommend it, and a 46% chance that they will remain loyal even after a bad experience.1
- They’re your big spenders, and they just keep spending. In the earlier stages of a consumer feeling emotionally loyal, their spending will be regular, but fairly modest. However, as their emotional loyalty towards you grows, they are statistically likely to be spending three to four times more than those who are less emotionally attached.2 This is due to the customer’s desire to give back to you, which is triggered when they become attached to your brand.3
- They genuinely want to help you improve. Your emotionally loyal customers want to feel involved with your brand, with 70% believing that a brand relationship should include providing feedback.4 Consumers like these are eager to be involved with your market research, product planning and beta testing, with one in five associating these experiences with a sense of belonging, growing their emotional attachment to your brand even more.3
So, how can you take your relationship with a customer to the next level?
Relationship advice from Lavender’s own
Jess says: make the most of quality time
I like to go to cellar doors or tastings around Sydney and get to know the vineyards and the people there. If I've had a positive experience and met some friendly people, I'll order more from those vineyards directly or seek those labels out in the shops.
See every interaction you have with a customer as an opportunity to deepen the relationship and make them feel valued. It’s always appreciated when you put in the time to understand their wants and needs, and demonstrate that you do.
Natasha says: don't undervalue yourself
It’s a bit irrational of me to be as obsessed with Light in the Attic Records as I am. Despite the astronomical cost of shipping vinyls from Seattle to Australia, I happily (or stupidly) keep spending here. I think it boils down to their catalogue of rare repressings and personal reviews that time after time have led me to new music loves I never would have found otherwise.
By building a sense of value in your brand beyond the objective cost of what you sell, you’re more likely to be able to justify, or even eclipse, any ‘limitations’ you might have – whether it’s a non-competitive price point, a longer order processing time, etc.
Abby says: grow together
It’s hard to say that anyone feels more than grudging acceptance while participating in surveys. But I was actually excited to see one land in my inbox – to have my say on the future of Kester Black, my favourite brand of nail polish. Instead of scrolling through social media as I waited for my takeaway fish and chips, I typed out my thoughts on their current and potential offering. Now, I’m keeping an even closer eye on their launches and eagerly awaiting what comes next.
There’s an obvious reason to involve your customers in your development plans: it gives you valuable information on what they’re willing to purchase. But getting customers involved offers more than just data. It also encourages them to form a deeper connection with your brand and feel like they have a stake in its future.
Angelica says: rid yourself of red flags
Recently, I purchased a t-shirt from a brand I had never shopped from before, only to receive an email telling me they didn’t have the item in my size. They apologised, going on to send me the same shirt in the next size up (with the promise of a refund if it didn’t fit), as well as a similar shirt in my size and some merchandise from their brand free of charge. I ended up recommending the brand to all my friends and family.
If you make mistakes, own up to them. Be transparent in showing humility, be sincere in your apology, and demonstrate that you are doing everything in your power to resolve the issue. It'll make you memorable for the right reasons.
I like to go to cellar doors or tastings around Sydney and get to know the vineyards and the people there. If I've had a positive experience and met some friendly people, I'll order more from those vineyards directly or seek those labels out in the shops.
See every interaction you have with a customer as an opportunity to deepen the relationship and make them feel valued. It’s always appreciated when you put in the time to understand their wants and needs, and demonstrate that you do.
Natasha says: don't undervalue yourself
It’s a bit irrational of me to be as obsessed with Light in the Attic Records as I am. Despite the astronomical cost of shipping vinyls from Seattle to Australia, I happily (or stupidly) keep spending here. I think it boils down to their catalogue of rare repressings and personal reviews that time after time have led me to new music loves I never would have found otherwise.
By building a sense of value in your brand beyond the objective cost of what you sell, you’re more likely to be able to justify, or even eclipse, any ‘limitations’ you might have – whether it’s a non-competitive price point, a longer order processing time, etc.
Abby says: grow together
It’s hard to say that anyone feels more than grudging acceptance while participating in surveys. But I was actually excited to see one land in my inbox – to have my say on the future of Kester Black, my favourite brand of nail polish. Instead of scrolling through social media as I waited for my takeaway fish and chips, I typed out my thoughts on their current and potential offering. Now, I’m keeping an even closer eye on their launches and eagerly awaiting what comes next.
There’s an obvious reason to involve your customers in your development plans: it gives you valuable information on what they’re willing to purchase. But getting customers involved offers more than just data. It also encourages them to form a deeper connection with your brand and feel like they have a stake in its future.
Angelica says: rid yourself of red flags
Recently, I purchased a t-shirt from a brand I had never shopped from before, only to receive an email telling me they didn’t have the item in my size. They apologised, going on to send me the same shirt in the next size up (with the promise of a refund if it didn’t fit), as well as a similar shirt in my size and some merchandise from their brand free of charge. I ended up recommending the brand to all my friends and family.
If you make mistakes, own up to them. Be transparent in showing humility, be sincere in your apology, and demonstrate that you are doing everything in your power to resolve the issue. It'll make you memorable for the right reasons.
“Having a customer who is transactionally loyal to your business is like casual dating. You know where they work, and that they have a dog, but you haven’t really spoken about the deep stuff.”
Small businesses: masters of emotional loyalty
One thing that all of the brands above had in common? They’re all small businesses. When it comes to winning a customer’s emotional loyalty, no one does it better. If in doubt, just ask yourself: what would a small business do? Armed with a clear way to win your customers hearts, it’s now time to break up with those sale-chasing, transactionally loyal customers, and build a deeper connection with those who really care.
on bringing values to the front
While most brands suffered in 2020, Ben and Jerry’s loyalty rose by 20%. What’s their secret? Their website hardly mentions ice cream, instead focusing on commitment to progressive social causes. By calling consumers to pledge allegiance to important causes, the consumers simultaneously pledge allegiance to the brand itself (and their ice cream).
Written by Angelica Martin, 52 Words by Adelaide Anderson, editing by Abby Clark, key visual by Alice Guo, page built by Georgie Drinnan.
References
- Andy Kan et al., Loyalty and Retention (2019), Westpac Group.
- Garth Hallberg, Is your loyalty programme really building loyalty? Why increasing emotional attachment, not just repeat buying, is key to maximising programme success (27 November, 2003), Henry Stewart Publications.
- Jerome Buvat et al., Loyalty Deciphered - How Emotions Drive Genuine Engagement (29 November 2017), Capgemini
- Tim Greulich et al., Exploring the value of emotion-driven engagement (May 2019), Deloitte Digital.
